The NoImpunity Victory Plan™ for the War on Terror

The latest polls show that Americans are not optimistic about the direction our country is taking. It's no wonder. Every Moslem in the world seems to want to kill me, personally, just for being American. And not just every Moslem, we seem to have pissed off every thinking and feeling person in the world. There doesn't look to be any good way out of the mess in Iraq. Not to mention Bush and his gang of Satan worshipers calling big hurricanes down on us, and so on.

But we don't have to give in to despair. At the very hour when things look blackest, we have been handed the keys to victory in the War on Terror. We know what the world wants, all we have to do is give it to them.


Sure the situation is bad, but we can turn it right around with a cheap and enjoyable symbolic act. Turn the Bush Gang over to trial for war crimes, and the world will be eating out of our hands again. Give these creeps up, and the world will say "Those Americans - they really know democracy." Wouldn't you enjoy seeing Rumsfeld hanging off a bridge in Fallujah? In fact, let's not stop with the Bush Gang.

What does America have to do to win the war on terror? We have to show the world that democracy is more than a smokescreen for empire. We have to understand that fighting terror does not mean killing children. We must actually believe in law. We have to make our politicians respect Iraqi lives and property.

The No Impunity Victory Plan for Iraq

In order to secure the respect of Iraqis and the world, and their cooperation and help in preventing attacks on U.S. citizens, the United States will demonstrate democracy in action. Iraqis who have been killed, or injured, or whose property has been damaged, will have their grievances heard before the International Criminal Court. The American government will acknowledge that Americans have no special right to commit mass murder. The Bushes, and Clinton, and other high ranking officials, will be given no impunity for acts of mass murder.

I know, you're thinking this is a dream. Perhaps, but it is the only way we will see an end to terror. If we, the American people, don't stand up for real freedom, who will? Our leaders have got the guns. We don't have to lose in Iraq. We just have to stop sucking up.